Song Lyrics

Click on a title to go directly to those lyrics, or scroll down to read all the lyrics.

Links to sound bytes with each individual text

 

 

Breathe Me Open

Breathe Me Open (2002)
How I Live (2001)
Wash Over Me (2000)
Hearts Expanding (2001)
Maybe There's Hope for Faith (2001)
I Will Give Birth Dancing (2001)
Hold Your Children (2001)
Into This Canyon (2002)
The Bee and the Flower (2002)
Rest in Love / Love's Midwife (2002)
You Will Find Your Way (2002)
Supple Spirits (2002)
Many Arms (2002)
Out Beyond Questions (2003)
On and On in Grace (2003)
Your Gifts (2001)

 

All Here!

The Whole of Me (2000)
For Bonnie, Who Found Me Dancing (1999)
Rock Me, Gently Rock Me (2000)
I Won't Forget (1999)
Something Strong in Me (2000)
Invitation to little em (2000)
Fledgling (2000)
Ten Today (2000)
The Enemy (2001)
Losing My Illusions (2000)
My Grandmother Lives in Me (2000)
All Here (2000)

 

Calling My Wisdom Home

Finding Myself (1998)
Calling My Wisdom Home (1999)
To My Therapist (because knowing about transference doesn't save me from it) (1999)
Hang on to Your Lover (1995)
Lost Your Mind Somewhere Along the Way (1995)
The Right Hand of God (1995)

 

A Talk While Dancing

Due to copyright restrictions, I am unable to post lyrics or sound bytes
for my translations of Evert Taube's songs.
Full lyrics of the translations are included in the CD booklet.

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Lyrics for Songs on Breathe Me Open

 

Breathe Me Open (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

Call me forth,
breathe me open.
Gently and lovingly
beckon to me.
Sing in my song
until my soul knows
that the song that you sing
and the breath that you breathe
are the spirit of life in me.

Call me forth,
breathe me open.
Gently and lovingly
whisper in me.
Sing in my song
until my soul knows
that the song that we sing
and the breath that we breathe
are the spirit of love in me.

Call me forth,
breathe me open.
Gently and lovingly
kiss me goodbye.
Live in my song,
and sing in my soul,
for the song that I sing
and the breath that I breathe
are nothing more
and nothing less
than God in me.

© 2002 Emily Melcher

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How I Live (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

I know how I live
how I love and let go
how I grieve and rejoice
how I dance lightly and how I fall

How I lay myself down on this good earth
tears flowing into the soil
nourishing seeds I have sown
Soon bring a blossoming
and then another loss

I know how I live
how my heart will break
with each opening

I know how to welcome
the loving
and the breaking
Breaking open
Making room
for love

Breaking open
Making room
for love again

© 2001 Emily Melcher

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Wash Over Me (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

There are things I won't believe,
There are things I will not do,
There are things I will not take into my soul.
Deeds that are unkind,
Words that are untrue,
I'll let them just wash over me and leave me whole.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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Hearts Expanding (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

Every once in a while, you understand my questions
Every once in a while, something softens in your eyes
Every once in a while, I feel the father in you
as he holds the child within me while she cries
Every once in a while, I see a flash of anger
or the healing tears of sadness in your eyes
Every once in a while I rock a child gently
knowing in those moments just how hard he tries

One moment we are laughing children, playful as the rain
But then the sadness hits us and it seems we can't refrain
from hurting both ourselves and each other in our pain
Each of us longing to feel loved again

Every once in a while, I look up from my sorrow
and I see that you have been here all along
Every once in a while, I dare to glimpse tomorrow
and I picture this love growing free and strong
Every once in a while, you break your isolation
and you find you have a home where you belong
Every once in a while, you dare to trust this loving
you've been longing for and searching for your whole life long

In those moments we are loving partners, water running clear
But then doubts rise up within us and we find ourselves in fear
It's difficult to reach out. We've learned to persevere
Each of us trying to help love to reappear

Every once in a while, we sense we're growing stronger
as we reach across the chasm that divides us
Now that once in a while seems to last a little longer
with the loving that our reaching out provides us
And the loving leads to deeper understanding
every time we choose to share and not to hide
As we open up, we feel our hearts expanding
and our love and our faith growing deep and wide

In those moments we are gentle healers, water flowing free
and we're honest and we're open and we're loving tenderly
And the loving leads to deeper understanding
every time we choose to share and not to hide
As we open up, we feel our hearts expanding
and our love and our faith growing deep and wide

© 2001 Emily Melcher

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Maybe There's Hope For Faith (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

All the world over, for thousands of years
faith has helped people to live with their fears.
But faith has been damaged by bloodshed and tears
in every land, through all the years.

I know of children whose minister raped them,
battered bodies and souls as they cowered in shame.
One of those kids used a bullet to silence
the fear that he might be to blame
for what he endured in God's name.

But ministers, too, offer refuge to children
and safety from all of the harm that they face;
A listening ear or a word of compassion,
or shelter or food, or a loving embrace.
Maybe their gifts are God's grace.

Maybe there's hope for faith after all
in churches where children are raised to stand tall,
and nurtured and guided with out shame or fear.
Children are cherished here.
Maybe there's hope for faith.

But women are threatened and beaten and killed
for seeking abortions or showing their skin.
God's mighty avengers believe they serve justice
even when killing their kin
to punish what they see as sin.

And then there are people supporting all women,
believing that each must make her own choice
and seek her own truth and be true to her wisdom,
and speak from her own precious voice.
Perhaps lift it up to rejoice.

Maybe there's hope for faith after all
In churches where women and men can stand tall,
and raise up our voices, each one sounding clear,
a place where we listen and hear.
Maybe there's hope for faith.

And yet, God is invoked to justify hatred
of heretic, Muslim or Jew, infidel.
Countries are ravaged and people are tortured
and driven from homes where they dwell.
Whole nations are banished to hell.

Still, others build homes and bring people together,
building bridges of metal and hope to repair
the damage that's caused when hatred is nurtured,
the souls that cry out in despair.
Maybe they build as a prayer.

Maybe there's hope for faith after all
In churches where people are free to stand tall.
Where all paths are open, all doors are flung wide,
both faithful and doubter inside.
Maybe there's hope for faith.
I have enough faith to hope.

© 2001 Emily Melcher

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I Will Give Birth Dancing (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

In the quiet stillness I can feel
the mother in me rising
full and whole,
soft and ripe,
warm and welcoming.

So drape me in robes
of purple and gold
and I will sing and I'll dance and I'll moan.
And I will born dancing,
and I will give birth dancing.

And I will feel the sun and rain upon my body
like blessing that caress me,
the gifts that I give.
And I'll embrace this power
that is flowing strong within me.
With my roots growing deep into the soil
I will live.

For I am the earth,
and I am of the earth.
Singing and dancing I am born
and give birth.

Oh, I am the earth,
and I am of the earth.
Singing and dancing I am born
and give birth.

Yes, I am the earth,
and I am of the earth.
Singing and dancing I am born
and give birth.

Singing and dancing I am born,
Singing and dancing I am born,
Singing and dancing I am born.

I am woman,
I am lover,
I am daughter,
I am mother,
And as I am born,
I'll give birth to another.
And she will be born dancing.
I will give birth dancing.

I am woman,
I am lover,
I am daughter,
I am mother,
And I will give birth dancing,
I will give birth dancing,
I will give birth dancing,
I will give birth dancing.

© 2001 Emily Melcher

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Hold Your Children (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

A mother holds her children
Rocks them as they weep
Shines the light of love into their spirits as they sleep
Plants the tiny seeds for the harvest they will reap.
Oh, mother, hold your children.

And weep for us now, mother.
Weep for the pain we have caused one another.
Weep for us now, mother.

A father holds his children
Listens when they cry
Offers loving guidance to their tearful question "why?"
Nourishes the dreams by which they learn to fly.
Oh, father, hold your children.

And cry for us now, father.
Cry for our failure to dream and to bother.
Cry for us now, father.

Weep for us now, mother.
Weep for the pain we have caused one another.
Weep for us now, mother.

Cry for us now, father.
Cry for our failure to dream and to bother.
Cry for us now, father.

Weep for us now, mother.
Weep for the pain we have caused one another.
Weep for us now, mother.

Cry for us now, father.
Cry for our failure to dream and to bother.
Cry for us now, father.

Mother, hold your children.
Father, hold your children.

© 2001 Emily Melcher

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Into This Canyon (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

If you gave everything I ask for,
told me you love me,
told me you'll grieve when I go,
told me you've rarely been touched so deeply,
told me to trust what I know,

I'd still be
perched on this precipice,
trying to find my way around it,
trying to find a way to stay.

If I believed in my own knowing,
felt I was ready,
knew that my foothold was strong,
If I could trust this path of growing
we've walked together so long,

I'd still be
perched on this precipice,
trying to find my way around it,
trying to find a way to stay.

Maybe I can hold this ground forever,
clinging to the hope that I will never have to leave.
Or maybe I can fall headlong into this canyon
and grieve.

Let myself fall into my sorrow,
tell you I'll miss you,
tell you it hurts me to leave,
tell you I've rarely been touched so deeply,
tell you I'm grateful
and grieve,

tell you I love you
and grieve,
tell you goodbye
and leave.

© 2002 Emily Melcher

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The Bee and the Flower (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

When I came to you in my darkest hour
I was broken and lost, unaware of my power.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears,
and bees come buzzing to a blossoming flower.

So I learned to hear by watching you listen,
I learned to see through your steady gaze.
Somewhere deep in my soul, I found the measure
of my work and my life and my love and my days.

I've learned to dance on the edges of my growing,
to rest for a while in the safety of my knowing
that this life is a breath, constantly flowing,
and this love is a light, steadily glowing.
I am bathed in its warmth through the coming and the going
of our time.

Now I am with myself, I'm not by myself,
I am standing in my own power.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears,
and bees come buzzing to a blossoming flower.

So I remembered love through letting you show me.
I learned to trust in your steady ways.
Way down deep in my soul, I know the pleasure
of my work and my life and my love and my days.

I've learned to dance on the edges of my growing,
to rest for a while in the safety of my knowing
that this life is a breath, constantly flowing,
and this love is a light, steadily glowing.
Bathed in its warmth, I am coming through the going
of our time.

Now I am with myself, I'm not by myself,
I am standing in my own power.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears,
Now I am the bee, and I am the flower.

With myself, I'm not by myself,
I am standing in my own power.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears,
Life is the bee, and I am the flower.

Oh, bees, come buzzing to this blossoming flower!

© 2002 Emily Melcher

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Rest in Love / Love's Midwife (for Mary Ann Macklin) (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

There's nothing wrong with holding on in this moment,
just as long as I can also let it go when I must.
It seems to me if I am ever to learn to trust,
I must learn to rest for a moment in love.

You told me:
"Walk, don't run, let it unfold.
There is nothing that you need to prove.
What's begun is yours to hold.
You'll know when it's time to move."

When I cried you moved in closer,
and I didn't have to hide.
With your arm around my shoulder
I could touch the pain inside.

You said:
"I know it hurts! Of course it hurts!
You're right where you need to be!"
Then you told me I'd given you just what you wanted
in letting you be there with me.

You told me:
"Walk, don't run, let it unfold.
There is nothing that you need to prove.
What's begun is yours to hold.
You'll know when it's time to move."

When I stand on the brink of my feelings,
on the edge of my joy or my pain,
when I start to act out in confusion,
when I need to find home again,
I find myself posing your question,
and it makes everything come clear:
What would I do if I acted from love and not fear?

What would I do if I acted from love and not fear?

What would I do if I acted from love not fear?

 

© 2002 Emily Melcher

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You Will Find Your Way (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

You still believe that I've dismantled your defenses,
but I've seen you take the bricks down one by one,
asking, "Can you still love me?"
and "Would you please hold me?"
learning not to hide and not to run.

I've seen you longing for more than just survival,
wondering how it feels to thrive,
reaching out to let my love
caress those tender places
where your sadness helps you know that you're alive.

I have faith enough for both of us for now.
I have seen a blossom burst forth from a bud,
felt the hardness in a heart grow soft in love,
and I believe that you will find your way somehow.

I have heard you weeping in your sleep,
heard you cry out in fear in the night.
I believe that something opens deep inside us when we dream
so I resist my urge to wake you from your fight.

And yet I'm with you, just as you've been with me,
loving me as I've learned to thrive,
keeping watch beside me
as I wrestled with my demons,
rejoicing with me when I came alive.

So I have faith enough for both of us for now.
I have seen a blossom burst forth from a bud,
felt the hardness in a heart grow soft in love,
and I believe that you will find your way somehow.

There are places we each must walk alone,
there are lessons for which there is no guide.
But I will love you as you travel on the journey that is yours,
as you come to know the strength you have inside.

I will be with you, just as you've been with me.
I'll be loving you, as you learn to grow.
I'll be trusting and believing in you
even when you falter,
rejoicing in all you come to know.

I have faith enough for both of us for now.
I have seen a blossom burst forth from a bud,
felt the hardness in a heart grow soft in love,
and I believe that you will find your way.

You still believe that I've dismantled your defenses:
I believe that you are finding your way.

© 2002 Emily Melcher

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Supple Spirits (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

There's an opening,
a strengthening,
a softening
in choosing to know who we are,
When we stop running,
and hiding,
and reaching for comfort
and listen instead to our hearts.

There's an opening,
a strengthening,
a softening
in choosing to lay down the fight,
knowing that pain flows through us
in the darkest night,
as surely as ,joy flows through us
in the morning light.

There's an opening,
a strengthening,
a softening
in facing our pain and our fear,
When we stop seeking
distractions
from hurt and discomfort,
and let all our feelings flow clear.

There's an opening,
a strengthening,
a softening
in choosing to lay down the fight,
knowing that pain flows through us
in the darkest night,
as surely as joy flows through us
in the morning light.

There's an opening,
a strengthening,
a softening
in dancing our joy and our bliss,
When we hold lightly,
believing
that life's ever-changing,
and all that we have now is this.

There's an opening,
a strengthening,
a softening
in choosing to lay down the fight,
knowing that pain flows through us
in the darkest night,
as surely as joy flows through us
in the morning light.

There's an opening,
a strengthening,
a softening...

© 2002 Emily Melcher

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Many Arms (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

There are many arms to hold you,
let us hold you now.
There are many ears to listen,
many hearts that know.
There are shoulders strong enough
to carry you now.
Let it go,
oh, let it go.

© 2002 Emily Melcher

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Out Beyond Questions (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

Lunch with Dad,
Oh, what a day!
How shall I dare
to speak out and say
that I still have questions
burning inside me:
Do you still love me?
And is there room in your life for me?

I tell myself no one can rob me
of gifts that I freely give.
And so these questions
burning inside me
tell me there's something
that I need to take back to live.

Lunch with Dad,
Oh, what a day!
How shall I dare
to speak out and say
that out beyond questions,
far beyond answers,
deep in my soul I know:
Words cannot free me,
I don't need this lunch,
Don't need your promise of undying love.

I must open my heart,
open my hand,
and let you go
so I can know
the love beyond questions,
the silence that offers release.

Deep in my heart,
all my questions dissolve into peace
in the love that lies beyond answers,
the silence that offers release.

Deep in my heart there's a place that I know
where my questions dissolve into peace.

Deep in my heart there's a place I can go
where my questions dissolve into peace.

© 2003 Emily Melcher

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On and On in Grace (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

On and on and on and on,
Love goes on and on and on and on…

Wherever I go, I will recognize love
'cause I've known it here in your embrace.
And wherever love shows, and wherever love flows,
love brings grace.

I do not leave you easily,
but I leave you knowing this:
We do not do justice to the love in our trust
when we hold it in.

There is someone else who needs you,
there is someone else you need.
And in this way, love goes on and on.
There are others out there needing
what I need to give,
and your love flows to them through my song.

So wherever I go, I'll be singing the love
that I learned to know in your embrace.
For wherever love shows, and wherever love flows
love brings grace.

While I do not leave you easily,
I leave you knowing this:
We do not do justice to the love in our trust
when we hold it in.

There is someone else who needs you,
there is someone else you need.
In this way, love goes on and on.
There are others out there needing
what I need to give,
and in sharing this love, we grow strong.

And so when I am gone, you'll be passing along
the love we have shared in our embrace.
For wherever love shows, and wherever love flows
love brings grace.

And wherever I go, I'll be sharing the love
that has held us all in its embrace.
For wherever love shows, and wherever love flows
it goes on and on and on and on,
Love goes on and on and on and on,
Love goes on and on and on and on in grace.

© 2003 Emily Melcher

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Your Gifts (Sound Byte)
(Words and music by Emily Melcher)

May you know the joy of work that feeds your heart and mind,
may you bring your gifts to bear on all you do.
And as you do the work you love,
I hope that you will find
that gratitude and love will come to you.
Gratitude for all the things you do,
and love, may it grow strong in you.

© 2001 Emily Melcher

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Lyrics for Songs on All Here!

 

The Whole of Me (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

Reconnect the part of me
that knows just who I am.
Reconnect the heart of me,
that full-of-passion part of me.
Reconnect the soul of me,
the whole of me.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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For Bonnie, Who Found Me Dancing (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

One Saturday night I was dancing alone
in a room full of people, a dance of my own.
I got out of a taxi the very next day,
and a radiant woman came walking my way,
and she said, "Last night I danced with you!
You didn't see me, but I danced with you!
In your bright tie-dyed shirt, an incredible pace,
you were dancing and twirling all over the place,
and your eyes, they were closed, I saw God in your face!
And your bliss drew me to you,
the joy that shone through you,
your bliss drew me to you,
your ecstasy."

When I called you weeks later, choking back tears,
the bliss was long gone, consumed by my fears.
And you said, "Don't talk 'round what you're feeling inside.
I'm listening, Emmie, you don't need to hide."
And I heard what you said, and my heart opened wide,
and I took what you offered, and I cried and I cried.
And I wept with a sadness for too long denied,
'cause your warmth drew me to you,
the love that shone through you,
your warmth drew me to you,
Bonnie.

Now I'm thinking of you and the sadness you feel.
You're going through changes and trying to heal.
And I'd love to give back what you've given to me:
A comforting presence, peppermint tea,
or a song or a dance for the sadness you feel.
If you let it flow through you,
the dance can renew you,
and bring you back home to yourself.
For when sadness flows through us,
the bliss can come to us,
and bring us back home to ourselves.
We'll let sadness flow through us,
so bliss can renew us
and bring us back home to ourselves.
It will bring us back home to ourselves.

© 1999 Emily Melcher

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Rock Me, Gently Rock Me (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

When you see my light dimming,
and you see the darkness hover,
When you feel me put my walls up,
and you see me run for cover,
Well, then, grab me quick and hold me
as you would a little child
who's lashing out in anger and in fear.
Pin my arms down if you're able,
till the rage and shame in me subside,
and then rock me,
gently rock me
in your arms.
Rock me,
gently rock me
in your arms.

Help me know that I'll find comfort
if I speak of all I hold inside.
Help me know I'll be delivered
by my tears.
Hold me in your eyes and love me
as you would a little child,
and then listen,
gently listen
to my fears.
Listen,
listen gently
to my fears.

For it's only in surrender,
when I lay my head upon your chest,
when I share my darkest shame with you,
I will find rest,
When you hold me close and love me
as you would a little child,
and then rock me,
gently rock me
in your arms for a while.
Rock me,
gently rock me,
rock me in your arms.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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I Won't Forget (Sound Byte)
(Words and music by Emily Melcher)

My wings are beating wildly,
your feet are stuck in clay.
I can teach you how to fly,
you can teach me how to stay.

And I won't forget to love you,
even when I cannot see you,
when my wings are beating wildly,
and I'm soaring on my own.

And I won't forget you love me,
even when you cannot listen,
when the beating of my wings
makes you afraid you'll be alone.

For I've always needed grounding,
and you have longed to fly.
We both have fought the learning
without understanding why.
But I'll no longer turn my face
and hide in shame,
I'll no longer close my eyes
in your embrace,
for I know now that you love me,
even when my wings are beating,
so although I fear the landing,
I will look into your face.

And I won't forget to love you,
even when I cannot see you,
when my wings are beating wildly,
and I am soaring on my own.

And I won't forget you love me,
even when you cannot listen,
when the beating of my wings
makes you afraid you'll be alone.

You can always trust I love you,
though your feet are stuck in clay.
Even though my wings are beating,
I will never fly away.

© 1999 Emily Melcher

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Something Strong in Me (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

If you're not there when I need you,
a part of me lays down and dies.
But if you are gentle and loving with me,
you may help something strong in me rise.
You may help something strong in me rise.

And if I felt sad when they hurt me,
disappointed when they let me down,
well, I might have known it,
but I would not have shown it,
'cause a smile was required to keep them around.

So I smiled through the fear when they hit me,
or battered each other in rage.
My knuckles went white, and my jaw was clenched tight
round the fear that I dared not engage.
And I grew hard to soften the blow,
thought I could cushion the fall.
When the pain was too great, I hid and I ate,
or I slammed my soft body hard at the wall,
or pounded my fists on my head
to silence the voices that wished I were dead.

For many years self-righteous indignation
was the weapon that I wielded to defend myself from fear.
Like a porcupine begging for attention,
while making certain no one could get near.
Now I long to lay my armor down and weep.
But my mind's a restless warrior
still looking for the danger,
and I'm not at rest, not even when I sleep.

It's a very old habit I'm trying to break,
this killing what rises within me.
But I know it's my own precious life that's at stake,
and if I don't kill me, I'll win me.

So if I can be there when I need me,
to witness my own inner cries,
If I can be gentle and kind with myself,
I may help something strong in me rise.
I may help something strong in me rise.
I may help something strong in me,
strength that belongs in me,
help something strong in me rise.
I may help something strong in me rise.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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Invitation to little em (Sound Byte)
(Words and music by Emily Melcher)

You're the angry one,
the blessed one,
You're the one who laughs and cries.
You're the loving one,
the playful one,
You're the one who's never bent herself to lies.

You're the one who's had to learn to shout,
the one I've tried to live without,
You're the one I hope to welcome back today.

So won't you laugh with me?
Tumble in the grass with me?
We can spread our wings
and twirl until we fly!
And if you fall to fear,
I will hold you near,
I will hold you close and listen when you cry.

You're the one who's had to learn to shout,
the one I've tried so hard to shut out,
You're the child who shoots off sparks,
who sparkles in my grown-up eyes.
You're the one who dares to live without disguise.

So won't you play with me?
Celebrate the day with me?
We can splash our dreams like sunshine
in the skies!
And if you fall to shame,
I will call your name,
When you lift your gaze, I'll look into your eyes.

You're the one I haven't dared to see
who dreams of all that I can be,
You're my little one,
potential,
possibility.

So come and dance with me!
Won't you take a chance with me?
When you need me, little one,
I will be here.
You're the child I have longed for,
I'm the one you've sung your song for,
And I will be the one to hold you through your fear.
I will be the one to welcome you, my dear.
My little one,
you will find welcome here.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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Fledgling (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

Just when I feel myself start to settle in,
I hear you telling me it's time to leave.
But my tears aren't even dry yet,
and I don't know how,
how to live the truths I'm coming to believe.

And just when I notice how much I feel at home,
I sense you pushing me to try to fly.
But my wings aren't even dry yet,
and I don't know how,
how I'm ever going to dare to say good-bye,
when I've finally found a gentle love
to hold me when I cry.

And I know my anger hurts you
'cause I've turned it inward, too.
And you've reached into my darkness sometimes
and pulled me through.
But it's different now.
I don't know how.
But I can't feel you there.
I can't feel you care.

And if the universe provides all my lessons I know
that my longing for you is a longing to grow
deep within me where
my soul lies bare,
so my own love can carry me through
my own fear which keeps me from you.

And if your role in my life is to nurture the seed
of love in my soul, then I have just what I need
when I can't feel you there,
I will learn to care,
and my own love will grow strong and free,
as I learn to be all I can be.

And these wet, tender wings will dry in the flight
as I soar with myself through the darkness and light.
And I will feel you there,
I will feel you care,
when my own love is lifting me high,
there's no love that I will deny,
when my own love is lifting me high.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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Ten Today (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

They say I was always grown-up for my age,
wise far beyond my years,
As soon as I could, I raced right through each stage,
ignoring my questions and fears.

And it's true, I was always grown-up for my age,
capable, confident, strong
As soon as I could, I raced right through each stage
missing each chance to belong.

They say I was hungry for life and adventure,
and I had no patience to stay.
I believe that it's true, but I see myself, too,
running forward and running away.

I was thirteen, going on thirty then,
racing, just to get through.
Today I am forty, going on ten,
and all of the world looks new.
Today I am forty, going on ten,
and all of the world looks new.

Today I am young and hopeful and scared,
I'm playful, receptive and free.
I don't have to be grown-up, don't have to be tough,
I just have to learn to be me.
I will see what this time holds for me.

I was thirteen, going on thirty once,
now I'm forty, going on ten,
I have a chance now to learn all about
all the things I missed out on back then.
I won't race through it again.

There are days I believe I can care for myself,
I am certain I know who I am.
But that doesn't mean that I should or I must
do it all alone, just 'cause I can.

Today I'm a ten year old, longing for love,
but tempted to push it aside.
I struggle between my desire to be seen
and my longing to just run and hide.
But the struggle is sweet this time, blessed as it is
with wisdom, compassion and care.
I don't want to stay lonely and locked in myself,
Now that I know I'm welcome to share.

So I'll linger here as long as I need to,
I'll ask all the questions I once put away.
I will cherish the warmth when I feel a blush rising,
grateful that I'm ten today.

I will cherish the glow of the young woman rising,
grateful that I'm ten today.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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Losing My Illusions (Sound Byte)
(Words and Music by Emily Melcher)

Look at what I've built here:
This is my dream,
built to give me love
and bring me family.

And look at what I've built here:
This is my dream,
built to give me hope
and bring me home.

And look at all I've built here:
This is my dream,
built to give me joy
and bring me meaning.

And yet look at all that's missing
from this empty chamber.
All the dreams I've built
can't fill this hole.
All the dreams I've built
can't make me whole.

I am losing my illusions,
falling into fear,
Knowing my insistence
will never bring you near.

I asked if you would walk beside me
Prayed you would fight to see inside me
Put up my walls and then begged you:
"Find a way through!"

I thought if you could love me enough
one day I would be healed.
But now I'm facing the emptiness
your loving has revealed.

I am losing my illusions,
falling into shame,
Knowing how I've hurt you
by holding you to blame.

I said I wanted a partner,
but I was looking for a savior.
When you couldn't save me from darkness,
I said I'd leave.
When you didn't pull me back,
I couldn't believe
that you could love me long enough
that one day I would be healed.
Now you've loved me half my lifetime,
through all I've kept concealed
behind walls of pain and anger,
in all the blame I've cast,
your loving has been constant
and I'm opening at last.

I am losing my illusions,
falling into grief.
Feeling as I'm falling
in surrender there's relief.

Now I am asking of myself
what I have always asked of you.
Hoping you will walk beside me
while I heal this pain inside me,
Praying I will know a love that's true,
When I look within myself, not just at you.

I am losing my illusions,
falling into peace.
Tending to my spirit,
each time I release
a bit of grief or pain or anger,
every time I rise above
illusions I have cherished,
I am falling into love.

I am losing my illusions
and falling into love.

© 2000 Emily Melcher

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My Grandmother Lives in Me (Sound Byte)
(Words and music by Emily Melcher)

When I was a child, my grandmother's hands
baked cookies and taught me to sew,
She drew clowns and read stories and took me for walks,
and she's still with me now as I grow.

And I feel her nimble fingers in mine
when I work with a needle and thread.
And I still smell my grandmother's kitchen
when I am baking a loaf of bread.

And yet I used to tease my grandma
when I noticed to my great dismay
that she was old-fashioned,
and tended her husband,
and I'd never do it that way.

But the older I get, the deeper I grow,
I embrace what I once was afraid of:
Commitment forever, and love and respect,
all the values my grandmother's made of.

And my grandparents' marriage has echoes in ours,
for I married a man who can dance!
When he waltzes me round,
when my feet leave the ground,
we're connected to their romance.

I have tended to think I am different,
But I'm more and more coming to see:
Though our marriage is different,
our love is like theirs,
and my grandmother lives in me.

And when I am searching for something to cling to,
when difficult thoughts fill my head,
when I find myself longing for someone to sing to,
I think of these words that my grandmother said:
"When my husband died, I walked in the hills
each day as I always do,
and I asked the good Lord
what his plan was for me,
and his message came, quiet and true: